الطبطبة

احنا كلنا كبشر بنحتاج لطبطبة من وقت للتاني. طبطبة تقولك انك مش لوحدك و أن الدنيا مش كلها غامقة و فيها حاجات مش كلها وجع. 

الفترة اللي فاتت (و الشهر اللي فات تحديدا) كان من أصعب الفترات اللي عدت عليا بس برضه كان أكثر فترة احس فيها بمعنى الطبطبة دي و خاصة آخر أسبوع فيها. و اللي فرحني أكثر ان اغلب الطبطبة كانت بتيجي من ربنا. خلال الفترة دي مفيش مرة عدي عليا موقف يعيطني أو يضايقني إلا و بعدها خلال يوم بالكثير ربنا يرزقني بالحاجة اللي تطبطب عليا و تنسيني اللي حصل.

الهدف من الكلام ده كله هو تذكرة للنفس .. مهما كانت الدنيا غامقة حواليك و مهما كنت متضايق .. خليك متأكد أن هيجي اللي يخلي ابتسامتك من الودن للودن ... ادعوا ربنا بدوام الطبطبة :) 

Glimpses

The thing is when you're down, everything seems much harder and painful. Getting out of bed is a struggle. Swallowing your food is suffocating. Doing your daily routine is a constant pain. 

The Only thing you can do is to put everything on autopilot mode, and use all your effort to focus on the small glimpses you get during the day; a smile from a baby, a warm hug from your aunt, a joke with a relative, a sentence you surprisingly read. 

Keep looking for messages of comfort hidden inside your regular actions. 

These moments happen within few minutes, but their effect may last for a much longer time. They are what will keep you standing on your feet when nothing else will. These moments simply give you a glimpse of what things will look like when this darkness goes away, and soon it will.

http://www.texasexplorer.com/bbspbeams.jpg

A Roll Coaster Year

It is the end of December again. It's that time of the year when you are supposed to revisit the previous year and make plans for the next one.

For me, it was a weird year, with all its problems, stress, pain, tears and losses. It felt as I've been on a roll coaster ride for a whole year, and I don't even like roll coasters!
Looking back to how good this year started, I would have never imagined it to be like that. Sure I didn't expect a super year with all my wishes coming true and everything going perfectly, but I didn't imagine to have that much craziness, changes and mixed feelings in it.
I spent the past week trying to remember what was good over the past year and I ended up with the birth of my niece Lama, attending TEDx Youth event, Allah giving me a gift that I kept praying for during the past four years alhamdulillah, few outings with my friends, finding my Thaeer and enjoying the warmth of my family for another year. I know these are few short moments, but I couldn't be more grateful for having them alhamdulillah. I wouldn't have survived this year without them, simply these were what kept me standing over this year.

I believe that Allah gives us hardships to teach us lessons and complete what is missing within us, and Allah keeps repeating the same hardship in different forms till we successfully accomplish its goal. My year's theme was all about testing myself and my circles on many levels and learning how to ask for help. I don't know my test results yet but I know they were eye-openers for me. And yeah, I am 26 years old and don't know how to ask for help when I need it the most! I am still in "accepting the concept" phase, and hopefully this year I will learn how to do it properly.

Thanks to Allah for answering my pray after all these years and for blessing us with our precious Lama, the source of joy in our family. Thanks for everyone who had been there for me with/without knowing that he is actually helping me.
I know 2015 won't be easier, but at least now I know what I need to work on during this year. From now on, I am keeping only what/who worth to be kept and I am going to learn how to say "I need your help" much more.

Wish you all a blessed and peaceful new year!

When you know

When you know that you know who you love, you can't deny it.

Or go back, or give up, or pretend that you don't buy it.

When it's clear this time you've found the one, you'll never let him go

Cos you know and you know that you know.

When you feel in your skin, in your bones and the hollow of your heart, there's no way you can wait till tomorrow.

When there isn't any doubt about it once you come this close

Cos you know and you know that you know.

You can feel love surround you like the sky 'round the moon.

This is how love has found you, now you know what to do.

When you know that you know who you need, you can't deny it.

Or go back, or give up, or pretend that you don't buy it.

When it's clear this time you've found the one, you'll never let him go

Cos you know and you know that you know.

And it's time you come in from the cold.

Haaa...

And you know that you know.

ليه ؟

في مسلسل حكايات بنات، كان في مشهد بين أحلام (بطلة المسلسل) و عاصم (حبيبها). ببساطة هو جاله سفر مفاجئ لفترة طويلة فقالها انها هي أول شخص يقوله. ردها بقي كان عبقري بالنسبة لي: "ليه؟ ليه حسيت إني لازم أبقي أول واحدة؟ ابقي لك ايه؟"

لما حد يحكي معاك أو يقولك علي مشكلة عنده او خبر فرحه او حتي خبر عادي أو اختار يشاركك لحظة في حياته، و لما انت تبقي عايز حد يشاركك أي لحظة في حياتك، افتكر أول حد بييجي علي بالك لحظتها سواء الشخص ده كان معاك أو لأ، واسأل نفسك السؤال ده: "لـيه".

ليه اختارك انت؟ ليه فكر يشاركك انت اللحظة دي؟ و ليه ممكن ميختاركش انت؟ 

ليه انت اختارته؟ ليه هو أول حد خطر علي بالك في لحظة ما؟

سؤال صغير بس اجابته هتخليك تشوف علاقات مختلفة في دائرتك. ناس اتعودت انهم موجودين عشان بس هم كانوا دايما موجودين، و ناس محدش منهم كان في حساباتك.

لو انت زي حالاتي عندك حبة دوائر للناس اللي حواليك، يبقي اتعود دائما تسأل نفسك السؤال ده: "لـيه".