Thursday, December 31, 2009

"Thank You" Notes

As we are only 2 hours away from the end of 2009 and the start of 2010, this is my last post in 2009.

Today I thought of what I passed through this year. I have to admit that it was quite a good year, it wasn’t the best but it wasn’t that bad after all.

I became more close to many people, I know them better now. I went through many things this year, but all these things made me reveal more about myself, understand myself much more. I can honestly say, 2009 is the year I felt peace with myself. I have been in this struggle with my inner soul for few years now. Sure, I didn’t solve them all but now I know how to deal with it.

This year, I learned few things from few people. I will write them down as a Thank You note for each one of them, I believe each one will know his/her note:
  • Because of you, now friendship has a different meaning that I never thought of.
  • Because of you, I know that no matter for how long bad things kept happening, good things will happen eventually.
  • Because of you, I know that motherhood is not that easy, but it is still a blessing that I want it more than anything in this world.
  • Because of you, I believe that love is not enough to gather two people who are in love, but I still believe it can be their weapon in their fight to be together.
  • Because of you, I believe that one step, on the way to realize one dream; can open the door to ten more dreams. 
  • Because of you, my self-esteem is 10 times doubled.
  • Because of you, I now believe more that everything happens for a reason, even if this thing made us sad for a while.
  • Because of you, I smile most of each day.
  • Because of you, as today gets darker, I know that tomorrow will be brighter.
  • Because of you, I got the chance to do something I always wanted to do.
  • Because of you, I know what it means to be speechless when you are around.
  • Because of you, I have a new definition for forgiveness.
  • Because of you, kindness has another definition.

For each one who helped me or had been there for me this year, THANK YOU.

I wish 2010 will carry happiness and success for you all. I wish all your dreams come true (and my dreams too :D) in 2010.

At last, GOODBYE 2009, thank you for each smile you draw on my face, and for each tear you caused. I learned how to live happy moments that pass by and to learn something new from each tear that drop from my eye.

Welcome 2010, I am looking for living each moment in you, Waiting to go through whatever surprises you have for me :)

Sunday, December 13, 2009

سأقول لكِ أحبّكِ.. نزار قباني

سَأقولُ لكِ "أُحِبُّكِ"..
حينَ تنتهي كلُّ لُغَاتِ العشق القديمَه
فلا يبقى للعُشَّاقِ شيءٌ يقولونَهُ.. أو يفعلونَهْ..
عندئذ ستبدأ مُهِمَّتي..
في تغيير حجارة هذا العالمْ..
وفي تغيير هَنْدَسَتِهْ..
شجرةً بعد شَجَرَهْ..
وكوكباً بعد كوكبْ..
وقصيدةً بعد قصيدَه..
سأقولُ لكِ "أُحِبُّكِ"..
وتضيقُ المسافةُ بين عينيكِ وبين دفاتري..
ويصبحُ الهواءُ الذي تتنفَّسينه يمرُّ برئتيَّ أنا..
وتصبحُ اليدُ التي تضعينَها على مقعد السيّارة..
هي يدي أنا..
سأقولها، عندما أصبح قادراً،
على استحضار طفولتي، وخُيُولي، وعَسَاكري،
ومراكبي الورقيَّهْ..
واستعادةِ الزَمَن الأزرق معكِ على شواطيء بيروتْ..
حين كنتِ ترتعشين كسمَكةٍ بين أصابعي..
فأغطّيكِ، عندما تَنْعَسينْ،
بشَرْشَفٍ من نُجُوم الصيفْ..
سأقولُ لكِ "أُحِبُّكِ"..
وسنابلَ القمح حتى تنضجَ.. بحاجةٍ إليكِ..
والينابيعَ حتى تتفجَّرْ..
والحضارةَ حتى تتحضَّرْ..
والعصافيرَ حتى تتعلَّمَ الطيرانْ..
والفراشات حتى تتعلَّمَ الرَسْم..
وأنا أمارسَ النُبُوَّهْ
بحاجةٍ إليكِ..
سأقولُ لكِ "أُحِبُّكِ"..
عندما تسقط الحدودُ نهائياً بينكِ وبين القصيدَهْ..
ويصبح النومُ على وَرَقة الكتابَهْ
ليسَ الأمرُ سَهْلاً كما تتصوَّرينْ..
خارجَ إيقاعاتِ الشِّعرْ..
ولا أن أدخلَ في حوارٍ مع جسدٍ لا أعرفُ أن أتهجَّاهْ..
كَلِمَةً كَلِمَهْ..
ومقطعاً مقطعاً...
إنني لا أعاني من عُقْدَة المثقّفينْ..
لكنَّ طبيعتي ترفضُ الأجسادَ التي لا تتكلَّمُ بذكاءْ...
والعيونَ التي لا تطرحُ الأسئلَهْ..
إن شَرْطَ الشهوَة عندي، مرتبطٌ بشَرْط الشِّعْرْ
فالمرأةُ قصيدةٌ أموتُ عندما أكتُبُها..
وأموتُ عندما أنساها..
سأقولُ لكِ "أُحِبُّكِ"..
عندما أبرأُ من حالة الفُصَام التي تُمزِّقُني..
وأعودُ شخصاً واحداً..
سأقُولُها، عندما تتصالحُ المدينةُ والصحراءُ في داخلي.
وترحلُ كلُّ القبائل عن شواطيء دمي..
الذي حفرهُ حكماءُ العالم الثالث فوق جَسَدي..
التي جرّبتُها على مدى ثلاثين عاماً...
فشوَّهتُ ذُكُورتي..
وأصدَرَتْ حكماً بِجَلْدِكِ ثمانينَ جَلْدَهْ..
بِتُهْمةِ الأُنوثهْ...
لذلك. لن أقولَ لكِ (أُحِبّكِ).. اليومْ..
ورُبَّما لن أَقولَها غداً..
فالأرضُ تأخذ تسعةَ شُهُورٍ لتُطْلِعَ زهْرَهْ
والليل يتعذَّبُ كثيراً.. لِيَلِدَ نَجْمَهْ..
والبشريّةُ تنتظرُ ألوفَ السنواتِ.. لتُطْلِعَ نبيَّاً..
فلماذا لا تنتظرينَ بعضَ الوقتْ..
لِتُصبِحي حبيبتي؟؟

Saturday, December 12, 2009

One Sleepless Night

I am having a strange moment. For the first time in two years, I am speechless. There are a thousand word in my mind but I don't know how to get them out or even express them. Every way I think to express them in, just seems wrong or disastrous.

I can't sleep with all these things in my mind. It seems this will be one sleepless night.

The point that I though that I got over these moments years ago. I though that I managed to deal  with them, but clearly I am not.

I will try to express them on papers, I don't know if it will work or not. I hope it works or else I won't be able to sleep tonight :(

It would be great if any of you know a solution for this miss. I would be grateful :)

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

World AIDS Day

1st December is the World AIDS Day. AIDS is one of these ugly diseases that can be easily prevented by knowing some basic information about it. Here is some basic information about AIDS.

  • What is AIDS?
AIDS stands for "Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome". A person is diagnosed with AIDS when their immune system is too weak to fight off infections.
Since AIDS was first identified in the early 1980s, an unprecedented number of people have been affected by the global AIDS epidemic. Today, there are an estimated 33.4 million people living with HIV/AIDS and each year around two million people die from AIDS-related illnesses.

  • What is the Cause of AIDS?
AIDS is caused by HIV.
HIV is a virus that gradually attacks immune system cells. As HIV progressively damages these cells, the body becomes more vulnerable to infections, which it will have difficulty in fighting off.  It is at the point of very advanced HIV infection that a person is said to have AIDS. It can be years before HIV has damaged the immune system enough for AIDS to develop.
  •  How you get HIV/AIDS? 
As HIV is a virus that lives and reproduces in blood and other fluids in the body. Transmission of these bodily fluids from one person to another can cause infection. HIV can be transmitted through sexual contact, sharing needles, or occupational exposure. Fluids that are known to contain high concentrations of HIV include:
  1. Blood
  2. Semen
  3. Breast milk
  4. Vaginal fluids
  5. Rectal mucous
  • How can you protect yourself against HIV/AIDS?
 There are hundred ways anyone can get with AIDS through, so there are plenty of things you can do.
 The highest reason of getting infected with AIDS is sexual contact, I pre-marriage tests for AIDS is essential for both partners. Also having regular test after marriage is also essential.

 As Blood is one of the fluids that can transmit HIV, then avoid avoid touching mouth that has sores with your bare hands (especially for detests) and bleeding gum. Be careful while dealing with cuts and sores, even among your family as you don't know who may be infected among them. During your blood tests and getting injected for any reason, make sure that the needle is only used by you. Needles can easily transmit HIV for you.
 Healthy skin is an excellent barrier against HIV and other viruses and bacteria. HIV cannot enter the body through unbroken skin.

Finally, I hope you all can spread the word among everyone you know during this week. It won't take much effort. Believe me, an hour before I started writing this post, I didn't know half of this information. It is only an hour that may save your life and the ones you love.

Remember all, this week is "Red Ribbon Week", I am having red ribbon as my pictures for all my online accounts, it would be nice if you have one too. You can find a picture online, it is everywhere :D 

 Here are some links I read and quoted from in this blog:
The official site for AIDS:
The official site for World AIDS Day:
Avert HIV and AIDS site: